“I’m speaking.”
Why did these two short words have such a profound effect on women across America after the Vice Presidential debate last night?
Because women know far too well what it’s like to get interrupted and talked over by a man.
That was, unfortunately, way too relatable.
There was obviously going to be disagreements and back and forths since this was a Vice Presidential debate.
But the way Kamala Harris responded was a great example of strength for women.
She showed us how to effectively stand up for ourselves to ensure that our voices and points get heard.
We don’t get to see too many examples of women effectively doing this at high positions, especially women of color.
Women of color are often labeled as “crazy,” “angry,” “aggressive” if we show too much strength.
And that’s why we often don’t. We allow ourselves to be interrupted; we hold our tongues; we stay a silent listener.
Many of us struggle to find our voice because we get in our heads about speaking up.
Women get interrupted twice as much as men in conversations.
That affects confidence, especially if the guy ends up mansplaining, precisely what we just said. (Like, was my explanation not good enough for you, sir??)
It doesn’t help that women are outnumbered by men in the workplace more often than not.
When women are the only (or one of the only) females in the room, there is additional pressure to work twice as hard to prove their competence.
Women feel like they have more to live up to and more to prove to their coworkers.
The stakes are also higher for women, as we are often held to higher performance standards than men and are more likely to take the blame for failure.
These higher standards can hold women back from finding their voice because there’s an inherent fear that they’ll say something wrong or will be labeled as “aggressive” for saying something.
No wonder women often suffer from imposter syndrome and question if they are even qualified to be in the room (even if they are WAY more than qualified).
Women not feeling like they have a seat at the table is a real issue that needs to be acknowledged.
We deserve not to feel hesitant about speaking up or having an opinion.
Women are powerful and vital to the workplace.
In fact, the 2020 Women in the Workplace study shows that companies are 50% more likely to outperform their peers when women are well-represented at the top.
It’s unfortunate that so many of us related to Kamala Harris being interrupted, but hopefully, it inspired you, as it did me, to find your voice in the workplace.
So, how does one start to build their confidence to speak up? Here are a few things that you can try:
Practice speaking during lower stakes meetings.
Take the opportunity to practice speaking so that you can build comfortability.
Find a mentor.
Find someone to bounce ideas off of and to confide in for encouragement. A mentor can help you practice, find opportunities, and develop confidence. Plus, it’s nice to know that someone has your back.
Set an agenda for the meeting (or get yourself on the schedule).
Create space for yourself to have a moment to speak. Setting the agenda allows you to lead the discussion and ensures you cover the topics you’d like to address.
Find your tribe.
Find a group of friends or colleagues to support you and uplift you when you feel discouraged or need help navigating the workplace’s struggles.
Back other women up in meetings.
Practice encouraging and supporting other people who are trying to speak up. Doing so will give the other person confidence and allow you to practice speaking up.
Speak up when you are interrupted.
Sometimes the person interrupting didn’t mean any ill will by cutting you off.
Regardless, you have the right to call the attention back to the point you were trying to make. Find a way to, respectfully, interject to come back to what you were saying.
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